When I started to write this post, this song kept playing over and over in my head.. maybe not all directly relevant but it defines a light at the end of the tunnel and a new chapter..
What did this mean for us, well it was HUGE, we had to up our game now. We had been parents for 2 months and really it had been somewhat easy (looking back now) in the practical sense, emotionally a whole other ball game, but practically we had been getting full nights sleep, we relied on experts to know what was best for our babies and now, now we would be on our ‘own’. Well not entirely but for the most part! Yes parental instinct does kick in but like any other new parents you constantly asking what is the right thing to do?! and for us that was x3.
We had to bring our girls home first and let me tell you this was hands down the hardest 2 weeks of our lives (so far!) So to give you some perspective, we had to leave my son, on his own for the first time, his big sisters weren’t there to ‘look after’ him, we would then be split with caring for 2 little humans at home, day and night and trying to get to the hospital for as much time with my son. If you’ve ever felt or read about parental guilt then you would know how much it can consume you. And it did! Probably me more than H and I guess thats what being a mother is all about.
To prepare us for life with multiples it was routine to have the parents stay in a few nights called ‘rooming in’. The first night was awful, we were in the tiniest of rooms with 2 hospital cots, pull out bed, single bed, sink and chair!! We got no sleep and the girls were disorientated, it was just truly horrendous. To top it off, my son had gotten poorly again and was moved back to intensive care, after a spinal tap and another blood transfusion it turned out he had an infection, Now this was awful timing how could we all just go home now and leave him? but we had no choice. They needed the space in the hospital for more new tiny/poorly babies.
I can remember sitting in intensive care with my son on the second ‘rooming in night’ it was after the night feed and it was the first time I ever doubted myself being cut out to be a multiple mum, he was helpless and I would have to trust a stranger to keep him safe while I would just be at home – I didn’t have this type of courage and i’m definitely not good with relinquishing control. But when its out of your hands you do learn to trust!
We were lucky to have a lot of help at home which meant I was only away from him for the nights, TWO VERY LONG WEEKS INDEED
We got through it and we were all reunited at home and we’ve never looked back!
To all those who are going through anything like this, new parents of 1, 2 ,3 or more, there is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it is now. Chin up kid!!
The day we came home – July 23rd 2015
Today!
We Plus 3 